Men Need To Do Better
There's truly only a few good men out there. The majority I've come across are confused. Having confused men in your family or close circle, is one of the most difficult things to sort through.
The Men in My Life
My mother raised me and my father wasn’t in the home but he paid child support and I saw him over the summer. He had his struggles to be a great father and distance didn’t help his case. I had a stepfather that my mother married twice and I really didn’t have a relationship with him.
My grandparents on both sides are still alive and married. Now there’s two men from different cultures who are from the same generation who provided for their household and maintained the finances while their wives supported the family and kept the home together.
In comparing the generations of my parents and their parents, I can’t help but see the major differences in the commitment to love. My grandparents seemed to have understood what the Lord intended for marriages. The biblical description of marriage is exhibited more by my grandparent’s generation in comparison to my parents.
“My son, attend unto my wisdom, [and] bow thine ear to my understanding”
“But thou, O man of God, flee these things; and follow after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness.”
To recognize the differences in the two past generations, I can see the major deplorable transformation of my own generation. The generation of young adults today - is perverted. A new person in your life means another sex partner.
Ladies, I say this because it’s biblical. Men are the head. Men lead the women. It is the order of Christ. With that being said there has been a major disconnection among the men. Many men these days are confused which leads women into their own confusion. You think, why don’t women just hold out and not give it up until marriage. The pressures of how many women there are out there that are giving it up, women fear that men will not stay with them and that they will just move on to the next woman who lacks sexual morality and devalues purity. So they compromise themselves to later learn that they made a mistake. If he won't wait until marriage, he's not the one for you.
“All scripture [is] given by inspiration of God, and [is] profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness”
“Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you”
Too many men choose the road to irresponsibility and do the minimum in their daily lives. They do just enough to appease their mother whom they most likely still live with. Or if a man marries a woman before he mastered being responsible, he most likely still has issues being irresponsible in the marriage.
Confused men are the worse and I feel like the majority of the men around me are just that – confused.
Some are stuck trying to stay young, others have a girlfriend or a wife and look to other women for things their wife should be providing to them. Then there’s men who go around playing with women’s hearts and as the sociopath that they are they pretend to not recognize that they are toxic and continue their cycle of tricking women into falling for them over and over again. I see too many men that refuse to keep a job. There’s men that refuse to go to church. There’s men that don’t want anything to do with their children. What is wrong with these men?!
I ask this because I truly don’t think that there are “men” in my own generation. What is a man? Do men in my generation even know?
My pastor is a great example of how men were intended to be in the sight of the Lord. He is well respected as a devout Christian and an example of a Man of God. He hears directly from the Lord and gives Godly counsel. He works hard for his family and for his church. He consults with God before everything he does. He gives God all of the glory. He loves his wife, listens to her, respects her, cares for her, and takes care of her.
After one of my failed relationships, my pastor spoke to me in private and the Lord lead him to tell me something that I may have never heard from anyone before. He started listing things that men are supposed to do for a woman. I just started crying because I realized that I never met someone who treated me this way. I’ve also observed many men in my family that don’t treat their wife this way also.
He said a real man is supposed to:
Provide for you
Protect you
Listen to you
Commit to you
Consider you
Appreciate you
Gives to you
Prays for you
Lifts you up
Helps you in all things
Lead/Guides you
Cultivates you
Wants to understand you
Will make you His everything
and there's nothing he won't do for you.
There's only one man out there for every woman. It's the devil's lie that there are plenty of fish in the sea - this isn't dinner. This is your eternal spouse. Something permanent.
I have two daughters and their fathers don’t want anything to do with them because I didn’t stay with them. They go around telling people that I won’t allow them in their lives. The truth is they don’t want my daughters in their life. If my daughters were taken from me, there is no one that would stop me from seeing them on a daily basis. They are both cowards who run from their responsibilities. I forgave them both a long time ago. I just know that the Lord will do what He needs to in that situation. There's nothing worse than the Lord's chastisement on your life and I strongly believe they will have rewards for their choices.
Answering my oldest daughter’s questions about her dad makes me feel lousy. It's so heartbreaking. I lie to her and I tell her he loves her. There’s no evidence of this so called love that I claim he has for her. I remind her that Jesus loves her more than I do. I tell her Jesus is more than enough. I reference myself and tell her I have both of my parents in my life that I talk to regularly, I told her I prefer to talk to Jesus. I still honor and respect my parents. I tell my daughter if she works on her relationship with God as a child that he will always be there for her and will even direct her steps.
I want to let women know (also applying to myself) that the Lord has a man for you. A real man who won't play games with you. A man that will be ready to take care of you and who will choose to love you every moment of your life. Don't settle for the shoe that barely fits. You'll be paying for that decision every day for the rest of your life.
In the meantime men and women, get acquainted with God. Study his scriptures. Learn His ways and His will be done in your life.
Below are two videos that I found very helpful in filtering out the nonsense.
Please leave a comment and answer my question based on your experience.
What is your idea of the role of a man?
