Sound Parenting

As parents, we all have the great responsibility of raising our children to become well-rounded, complete individuals when they get older. Well-rounded could be defined differently depending on what you most value in life. Some people associate success with having a lot of money while others look for an overall wellness in their child as they get older. Responsible, respectful, having morals, being intelligent, having compassion, being able to communicate, exceedingly investing into talents and gifts, having charisma, being well-known and well-liked. The list can go on and on into what “well-rounded” actually means. Again, this varies from individual to individual. What I perceive as “well-rounded” may not live up to your standards of the definition of the very same word.

Psychological textbooks about early babies, suggests that love and trust are developed between parent and child early on. When a parent bonds with their baby consistently, the child will grow to feel the acceptance and support that is needed for healthy growth and development in the child.

Children will ask many questions, eager to learn from their parent(s) who they perceive as all-knowing or even perfect. Providing your children answers to these questions and having regular conversations about small talk, their day, or even deep or intellectual conversations about heavy topics - this promotes a connection with your child. When you have a connection with your child, they not only will show healthy communication skills with others, but they will also have feelings of happiness in knowing that they have a person or people on their side.

There are many things that can build or strengthen a relationship with a child/teen over the years as they grow:

1. Buy a journal and use it as a “mommy/daddy and me” journal

   • This creates a safe place for the child to express themselves. The journal helps her communicate her feelings or thoughts when she is uncomfortable verbalizing in a conversation.

   • I use this journal to uplift her and to speak life into her. I strongly believe it helps to boost her self-esteem and confidence. I avoid writing in the journal the things that make her feel sad, low, in trouble, etc. I can always communicate that in the moment when it is the opportunity for her to learn. Therefore, everything I write in the mommy and me journal is to highlight her strengths and to give her an overall viewpoint of who she really is and how I see her.

2. Affirmations

   • Teaching them how to love themselves through daily affirmations really pulls them through their self-inflicted negativity.

3. Have them establish their own goals

   • Give them an exercise. Tell them to write down their goals, who they want to be when they grow up, what they want to accomplish, etc.

   • This gives you a window into their perception. This helps you take a moment to realize what they are wanting to do and gives you the opportunity to help them reach their goals no matter how big or small they are.

4. Spend one-on-one time with them

   • Take them somewhere to teach them something new

   • Visit a place they love to go and just enjoy each other’s company

   • Buy a book and read it together

   • Ask them meaningful questions that will invoke important deep conversations.

5. Share stories with them that exceed their memory

   • When I talk to my daughter about her life when she was a baby, most of it she doesn’t remember but she absolutely loves hearing stories of her first words, first steps, things she would say or do. She just sits listening in amazement with a huge smile on her face as I talk.

   • Tell them about hardships you had to face growing up

6. Pray with them.

   • Being strong and openly praying gives them a good example to follow.

   • A relationship with God is the most important thing in their lives. Living the example is the best way to instill this purpose in them.

7. You know your kid better than anyone. Most kids just want undivided attention from their parents

Communication is so important. Conversations are critical for establishing a moral compass within your child. A good moral compass really makes a difference in an individual, as children and teens it helps with their character and demeanor, while also helping them in their decision making. It’s establishing nobility, ethics, and confidence into your children. Confidence in you as the parent and confidence in themselves.

Having a great relationship with your child will impact them greatly in their day to day lives. They will be focused on making right decisions so that they do not disappoint you and they will try hard to behave ethically and respectfully wherever they go. As teens things get difficult - that’s no secret, but how difficult it develops is a reflection on your relationship with your child. Teach your kids something deep today. Don’t just leave it at “how was your day? And did you do your homework?” Ask them what made them smile today? Ask them what they learned - whatever they mention expand on it for them with your experience and knowledge about it. Be present, aware, and protective of your children. Don’t let the adversary in.

God made you the mother or father of your child, no one else. You were handpicked to be their parent. Out of all of the people in the world God chose you to be their mother or father. Trust God to lead you with your children. He will guide you in all decisions.